Gee, I'm running pretty fast for a 29 year old........

Okay, I'm going to just come straight out and say it. I turned a year older this week. So bloody what. What's a year? If you talk to my new best friend Boycey, I'm young. And he's really really smart so dont even bother arguing with him because he'd out debate you in his quiet talker kind of way AND he has access to nuclear weapons of mass destruction. So there.

Yeah yeah, 43, I'm even prepared to fess up about that in case you were wondering. It got me to thinking, as I often do these days horizontal on my new daybed (have I mentioned I'm in love with that thing?) just what amazing things have been achieved by someone my age. I think Im needing to focus on what lies ahead for me as opportunities, new adventures, living the extraordinary because right now, im feeling very ordinary. I look unwell, even though im actually feeling pretty good for someone on massive doses of toxin. But being bald kind of sticks you in the sick corner whether you are sick or not. Its like being unjustly punished and sent outside in school for something you laughed at but didnt instigate.

My fitness is slipping away from me, even though i try to do something physical daily. But the reality is, i cant go hard at anything. My lung capacity and low blood levels just wont allow it. I got a bit of a cold and a bad cough on New Years Day and basically i just cant shake it off. Again a sign my body is idleing at low gear and no matter how much my head wants to push into fifth and burn it up the hill, it's not shifting.

In saying all of that, and following on from my last blog, the new cocktail of chemo has in fact been quite good for me and I am pleased to say I feel incredibly grateful as ive hardly been sick at all. I have had comments from friends that I am 'glowing' (could that be a result of the nuclear plant gurgling away in my veins???) and look great etc. This is why you surround yourself with beautiful friends who know just the right thing to say when you feeling the most vulnerable. I do feel vulnerable. And I do feel like I am in a continual battle between my head and heart which want to remain positive, happy, cheerful and my body which feels at times like its completely given up on me, picked up stumps and is taking the slow walk home with its head hanging low and the occasional kick at a stone in the gravel. It's actually kind of tiring at times having to have the internal conversations to keep your spirits up, remember this is a short time in the grand scheme of life and that this will pass. And I do have them and I'm pleased to say, for the most part, my head and my heart win out every time and I can almost always find reasons to smile and remind myself why I am so fortunate to be who I am and doing what I am, right now.

So, I consulted Dr Google on successes at 43 for others and actually discovered something incredible. JFK was in fact my age when he became the US President! Now THAT is pretty impressive! Given I am only 4 days post my birthday, there's still time for my political career! And geez, the campaign tours in full swing RIGHT now for our US counterparts so if I just grow some hair quickly, decide on a platform, get some cash backing (readers?) and head on over, I could become the female equivalent of the identical achievement! Twins with JFK. :-)

How was your birthday i hear you ask? I woke early on the morning and wondered how the day would unfold. It was a divinely sunny day, even at 6am and the summer heat that had been steadily rising with every day on the far north coast, was reaching breaking point. It was also a full moon so night time equally spectacular. It was too hot to even have coffee on the deck early and so between telephone calls and social networking I had a busy morning chatting. John had indicated he would take the day off to take me to lunch 'out of town' where I could feel comfortable knowing no one would recognise me if I wanted to just whip my hat off and dine hard boiled egg style. I have to confess that I assumed John would wing it, not having the time to actually organise anything and that we would just drive and choose a spot to eat based on availability and view. And I am here to concede I completely underestimated him on this occasion. Because in fact he HAD booked a gorgeous restaurant in Burleigh Heads (1 hr north) and when we arrived, out on the deck overlooking the very clear ocean (nice right hand breaks for you surfers out there) were sitting Lyn, Ash and Julia! A coordinated effort by the A Team for a birthday surprise! It was a fabulous present - to spend hours chatting over good food with people that I love and that I know love me. Our friendships span almost two decades and are like food for my soul. The Woodies had taken the 2.5 hour drive south to be there which essentially meant a long 5 hour round trip and no time for guru business for lunch and Julia (aka Woman of Science/Crazy Lady) had boarded a plane from Sydney and would fly home that afternoon having taken a prescious day off work to be there. Thank you thank you thank you......love love love. And special thanks to Johnny the accidental CEO who planned and coordinated the day, also took a day off work to support me on my birthday, and who knows me well enough to know how much a gesture of this nature means to me. You are extraordinary. Oh and a special mention to my mum who ensured Murphy was looked after at home and undertook storm watch duties as the afternoon heat rolled on.

So I had a gorgeous birthday whilst simultaneously running to second base. Yep, the game continues and even while chowing down on prawns and sashimi, my body is hurtling towards a declaration of safe on second and the end of chemo. I'm close to half way.

In the list of amazing achievements for people at aged 43 was also a woman named Annie Taylor who was a widowed school teacher. I'm not sure why her profession or her marital status was important enough that the web site needed to state it? But, what is important, is that Ms Taylor climbed into a barrel and chucked herself over the 160 foot Horseshoe Falls in Niagara. Now having the privilege of visiting Niagara Falls myself i can tell you that when you stand on the edge of the falls you actually have to scream at each other just to have a conversation because the noise and power of the water cascading a very loooong way down over the rocks is so incredibly loud. So to think some woman my age decided she would climb into a barrel and have someone push her over the edge, what for, to see what would happen? For the thrill? To make some record? Well, it's impressive in a stark raving mad kind of way and I get it. Maybe Annie had just gotten to the end of a health scare and felt the need to do something extraordinary. It's not running the free world I grant you, but I still think its an amazing feat and in fact, I relate more closely to Annie Taylor than I do with JFK. So if you drop by my house and find me hammering away at an odd shaped vessel, start gearing up for some bizarre and out there event. However it could just be me showing you how I can roll down Survey Street with high heels on????!!!!! Hehe.

You see readers I haven't forgotten I am emerging as a new Kym once all of this is over and that includes doing things that are extraordinary. Making a difference. Living an enviable life. And being grateful that I had this opportunity to know the challenge, every raw and edgy piece of it, and that I still managed to take it on and beat it. I have the desire and the embers are burning inside.......sparkly Kym is on her way.

Much love always xxx